What/Who Do You Identify As?

The Identity Controversy

New words, as far as sex or non-sexed identification, such as “they” or “it” or identifying as animals such as cats or other real or fictional creatures has created quite a controversy. Some people have been quite outspoken about how they feel about people identifying as sexes that their biology defines as different than their preferred identity. Apparently, there are individuals out there who have a problem with minor children identifying as cats and using litter boxes in public classrooms rather than a proper restroom!

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s the adults and the nay-sayers that have it wrong on this, not necessarily the contemporary identifiers, in some respects. The people I’m hearing from are all upset and appalled. But I think the identifiers are really on the right track!

Most Adults Don’t Identify on Purpose

Here’s the thing, most of the adults I talk to are certain about what sex they are and what species, but they can’t list three things that they believe to be true about themselves. Most of us don’t identify on purpose. We haven’t made a conscious choice about what we want to believe about ourselves. And here’s why this is important:

“No endeavor will yield more benefit to the quality of your life than committing to the pursuit of developing an unconditional loving relationship with yourself that contains self-beliefs of your choice. No endeavor.” – Shane Jacob

Your Beliefs Create Your Results

Here's the deal, what we believe about ourselves, or how we identify, is the biggest factor in determining our results. And if we don’t choose how to identify on purpose, it’s being decided for us whether we know it or not. Our brain produces thoughts that we accept as beliefs, and those beliefs may not be helping us get what we want.

In the book I’m writing, The One Horse Race, I say:

“Nothing will have a greater impact on your results in this lifetime than the beliefs that you hold to be true about yourself, and when you become aware of the importance of those beliefs, understand and accept you can determine your beliefs, choose what you want to believe, and take deliberate and consistent action to develop those beliefs, you will experience a new level of progression and evolution that will otherwise have not been possible for you.”

The Real Problem: Default Settings

The point is that most of us who are complaining about how teens and others are identifying aren’t identifying ourselves as anything other than a bunch of default settings of limiting beliefs:

• I’m not good enough.
• I don’t deserve it.
• It takes money for that.
• We can’t afford it.
• I’m too old.
• I’m not experienced enough.
• That’s for people with college degrees.
• I’ve never done that before.
• I don’t know how.
• I don’t have enough time.
• I’m too busy.
• She makes me mad.
• I’m getting by.
• I’ll never have that much.
• Those people are super disciplined.
• Those people were born into it.
• I’m ok.

And a thousand other default thoughts that define who you are! How are those unintentional thoughts helping you perform? Not well when you think those kinds of thoughts.

Name Three Things You Identify As

Right now. Three things. Who and what do you identify as? Who do you want to identify as?

You have some choices here. You can do nothing and let your natural brain decide. Most of our thoughts are unsupervised, haphazard, unconscious, and pre-programmed. So, our lives become an unconscious response to unexamined thoughts.

Is that how you want to be? Unintentional? Not on purpose? Just happenstance? Most people are, but when you know you have the agency to choose what to identify as (and thank you young people for bringing this to our attention!), when you know you can decide, you may want to make some decisions. Some decisions that will improve your life. And your family's lives!

What If You Could Identify as Anything?

Do you identify as awesome? Outstanding? Disciplined? Loyal? Courageous? Humble? Kind?

Are you a high achiever? Winner? Successful? Confident? Do you identify as rich? Financially independent?

I identify as a badass. A rock star. Committed to my goals. Not afraid to fail! Decisive! A loving leader.

What if you could identify as anything you wanted to? Yes, you—parent… or child. Anything you wanted?

And what if what you decided to identify as made a significant difference in your life?

The Real Message Behind Identity

I’m not saying that identifying as a different sex than your original biology is helpful or that thinking you are a different species is a solid life plan. I’m saying that if we pay attention to the core message:

Decide what and who you want to be in this lifetime and go for it. Choose what you want to identify as and become that person. Live on purpose!

Now, I’m not Catholic. I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but I heard a Catholic priest say something I completely agree with:

“Whatever, however you identify yourself, your primary identity is that you are a son or daughter of God.”

I believe that about me and about you. I believe that you are destined for greatness! And I believe that you cannot fail if you Don’t Ever Stop Chasin’ It!