Understand why challenging thoughts are normal, especially in parenting, and how to replace them with ideas that move your life forward.
Understanding Difficult Thoughts as a Parent
Welcome to this week's You are Destined for Greatness. I got a pretty cool message today, and I hope it brings a lot of value to you. Here's the thing. We can all relate to this to one degree or another, but I have people that talk to me, and I hear things, I hear people tell me thoughts that they're having, that they're ashamed of having, okay?
In moments that they have the courage and the vulnerability to tell me, they tell me things like, “I wish I wasn't a parent. I wish I didn't have to do this. I'm not good at this. I want to be doing something else.” That's just an example.
When Thoughts Feel Wrong
But here's the deal. We've all had thoughts that it's like, “Where did this come from? What am I thinking? What's the matter with me? Like, what does this mean about me?”
In my example of parents sometimes telling me that they wish they weren't a parent, okay? In every one of those cases, behind that thought that they tell me, they tell me that they feel shame for thinking it, okay? There may be some element of truth behind it, but they love their kids. It's a conflict.
The bottom line is, is they have a thought that makes them feel terrible, and then they start to get a terrible result when they think that thought.
Why These Thoughts Happen
There's a couple of important parts in this to know. First of all, like I said, we all have thoughts occasionally that come, that our brain feeds us just as a part of being a human being, okay? That we wonder, it's like, “What does this mean about me? This feels so wrong. I can't believe I'm thinking this. What's going on?” You know?
And what you think about your thoughts matters, okay? What you think about your thoughts matters. And, we get to choose what we think about our thoughts. We get to choose whether we keep what our brain feeds us or if we reject it and put it aside.
I encourage you to check out this week's podcast where I go more deep into it, or join us in Stable Living Coaching, which is the stuff that we do all the time to help make sure you're getting the best result in your life every time.
Two Important Pieces About Difficult Thoughts
But I'm going to give you two, two of the important pieces about thoughts when you're having thoughts that don't feel good, okay? They feel wrong. They're conflicting. They make you feel ashamed like something's wrong with you, okay, when you think these thoughts.
When you have a thought like this, there's a couple important things to know.
1. You Are Not Your Thoughts
Number one, you are not your thoughts. You are not your thoughts, okay? Your brain feeds you 60,000 a day. It doesn't mean anything about you other than you're a human being.
You have a thought that feels wrong, feels shameful, it feels like conflicting. It feels like, “How could I be thinking this? What's wrong with me?” What that means is you're a human being. Sometimes your brain, in an effort, I mean it's not there to hurt you, but sometimes your brain just feeds you a thought that just doesn't make, you don't want to have it, okay? And that's okay. It's normal, so you need to know that.
2. Your Thoughts Create Your Feelings
The second part is, is what you think, your thoughts create feelings. One thought, one thought, one feeling. So what you think matters, okay? What you do with this thought matters. Because how you feel, if that thought that you're thinking, if you feel shame, shame is going to drive your actions, and shame drives actions that are going to give you a result that you don't like in your life. That's what's going to happen.
So until you become aware, until you take that thought and put it over there and put a new one in its place that will make you feel different, that will drive different actions to get you a different result, that's the game we're going for, okay? So it's important to know those things.
You Can Choose Better Thoughts
Check out this week's podcast where we go into it. This is important to know. Bottom line here, I'm going to say it one more time, my friends, if you've had thoughts, and let me tell you if you have not you're not a human being, that you didn't like, that felt wrong, some of them even make you feel ashamed or feel like something's wrong with you sometimes, just know it's just part of being a human being. And you can kick them aside, and you can let it go, and you can think something else that will advance your life the way that you want it to go. Because You, my friends, Are Destined For Greatness.
